Secrets of a Tee Time Girl
Fair warning, this book is a little wild and shocking. It is a light hearted, flirty, saucy, funny, free-wheelin', golf book that will give anyone the secrets to getting the best possible service from your golf course cart girl, (or worst service, depending on what you do to the poor girl).
It is not for the innocent, it is not G-Rated, (PG-13 to R maybe?) and it is definitely the wacky stuff I have seen and sometimes instigated out on the fairways. It's true, some golfers simply fall to pieces when the cart girl rolls up. Oh, the stories this girl has to tell! You're going to love it... or you're going to think I need therapy, you decide, and even if you don't get (Choose a word, excited, entertained, mortified, a good chuckle, hungry...) by the stories, then you're going to love the pictures!
Excerpts from "Secrets of a Tee Time Girl"
On tantrums:"This guy is walking off the green, blinded by anger. He's cussing and swinging his putter and kicking the grass up. Making quite a mess of it. Meanwhile his cart partner is in the bathroom and the others are ordering drinks from me. (Coincidence? I think not.) Anyway, he walks up to his clubs and starts pulling them out and bending the shafts on the side of the cart. I say to his friends, 'Man, he must be really mad, he's breaking his clubs!' One of the guys drops the drink I just handed him and goes running up to him, screaming, 'Stop, you (expletive), those are my clubs!' "
On golf fashion:
"The majority of golfers look great, and I pay attention to that kind of thing, so I should know. But every now and then you get a goofball out there and I actually have to avoid eye contact to keep from laughing. The worst so far was a very wealthy woman in her mid-40s or 50s, wearing tons of makeup and jewelry and jacket, a plaid barrette and white knee socks. Yes, I said knee socks. (Yes, I also said white knee socks!) Yikes!"
On senior golfers::
"I actually have to invent ways to make better tips. One that works (almost) every time is to pay very close attention and flirt shamelessly with one unassuming senior per foursome. Why just one? It drives the other three crazy! At that point, they'll start competing, and that's when they reluctantly dig out their senior 'bank roll.' The dusty wad of dollar bills emerges in the bright morning sun You can actually see George Washington squint, his eyes sadly unaccustomed to the light."
On women golfers:
"Most men would have you believe that if left unchecked, (women) would clog the flow of a golf course like the arteries of an obese man on an all-bacon diet. Actually, this is just really not true. At my course, the women rock! They are usually the ones nipping at the heels of the foursome of guys in front of them."
On golf "freaks":
"These are total golf nuts. They golf four to seven days a week and sometimes 36 holes or more in one day. They are either really rich, really obsessed or really running away from their lives and other opportunities in life. Their whole life is golf, golf and more golf. (Sound familiar?)"
To get your copy, go to http://www.teetimegirl.com. The book sells for around $15.
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